The New Agreement
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude about it. Don't complain.. Maya Angelou
I don't care for this g rated thing we have going. I don't want to talk to a computer anymore. I want to talk to a person, I want to see his expressions, see him smile at me, hear him laugh, feel his arms around me tight and I want him next to me now.
I can't do this anymore. I let him know that I liked him and I have waited 6 weeks now for a first date. I know he can't control his schedule and yet another weekend has passed us by and no Steve. My heart is crushed and I can't walk around with tears in my eyes and a frog in my throat anymore. I have been far too tolerant and understanding and now I feel like a fool... He's leaving tomorrow on leave for 2 weeks and Im so crushed, maybe he will come crashing through and everything will be great when he gets back but I have my doubts now.. Im not doing this anymore, I can't because my hopes are up so high and I have set myself up to get my heart ripped out. I know who Im talking to and it's real for me, and he doesn't and I won't do this to myself any longer. He's going to feel like a jerk when he see's how pretty I am and all this time we have wasted when we could have been in love and getting so down. Night and day I dream about this man and I want him so bad.
*I want this man for real. I want him forever, all over me and through me, in my heart, in my soul, in my dreams, in my bed. I just ache for his tender touch, his kiss, his arms around me and safe and warm. He's so wonderful and Im way in over my head. I have never seen someone who was more right for me and I have to play a better game. I have been too tolerant and understanding and I have to go about this differently now. I want him to want me and dream about me and ache for me and no one else. Being too avaliable and offering my heart too easily has not won his heart. He's not here and that's what I want more than anything in this world. Does he hug his pillow tight every night and imagine me there? Does he think about what we will be like, does he want me and need me and long for my touch the way I want him. He will! Once he sees me his heart will be on fire and when will that day finally happen? He has to go to a war and make it back home. Im scared for him and I worry for him and I already love him. I could never tell him that but I do. Because he's sweet and sensitive and into me and he's got this devilish grin that just sets my heart spinning. That's what excites me and scares me and then makes me so blue...
*Negative people and situations and sources of sadness have got to go
*I will not email him or call him unless he contacts me first. I won't do it!
*Im going to go out and be young and have a good summer even If I have to do it without him and I don't want to but I will.
*Im going to go to new places and make new friends and cherish the good ones I have
*Im going to get my VA Cert and shove it in that bitches face and pull 100% at work so I can get out
*Im going to learn the fit to strip routine and have that one ready under my belt Yeah!
*I promise to be myself in everyone's face and not back down or hold back
*Im not going along with the bullshit anymore to keep the peace. This is the only life I get and not everyone deserves to be in it.
*I believe that I deserve a wonderful man, I deserve to be loved and cherished.
*I won't tolerate disrespect from anyone. I deserve to be happy and valued.
*MY JOB HAS GOT TO GO. Mgmt is hopeless for positive change and I deserve better. I just say to myself .. the first lateral opportunity I get to leave your sorry ass you can bet your last breath that I will... and let it roll off. That is a paycheck and not worth upsetting myself. They aren't important enough to hold me down.
*Im not going anywhere or doing anything that I don't wholeheartedly want to do. I understand that my happiness comes first, I can't give to other people what I don't have in me first.
*Im going to be real and true to myself from this moment on and focus on what I like and skills that I want to develop: French, travel, savings, no debt, good communication skills, skills in dealing with difficult people and situations, class and eloquence, being a lady, yet being wild and fun, being a great wife and lover, being a great mother, charm, faith, music, relaxation, fantasy, art, poetry, dance, exercist and total health, love and affection, and holding out for someone who loves and cherishes me completely and unabashedly.
*I will exhibit pride and confidence in myself, being ON and in control of my emotions. People will see what I want them to see and I respect myself and believe in myself so much that I don't have to react to negative situations. I believe that I am too worthy to be rendered spun by insignificant things in my life. I have lost my composure 3 times now once with each of the leeches of my life. Never again will I hand over my power. NEVER! It's not whether or not things will go wrong, it's how they are handled that conveys character...
*I will always think well of myself and never feel inferior or intimidated by anyone. I have a results based attititude, I have a results based drive, and I never waste my time. I AM ENOUGH. Even if I fall I am full of courage, strength and grace and I will get right back up and carry on... that's my best quality...Resilience.
*I promise myself to live an elevated life and give and expect only the best.
*I don't offer my love or loyalty to anyone who doesn't deserve it. I don't love people who don't love me.
Don't let Them ...
Define your being
Dictate your pace
Decide your fate
Defer your dreams
Derail your goals
Dare to succeed
I don't care for this g rated thing we have going. I don't want to talk to a computer anymore. I want to talk to a person, I want to see his expressions, see him smile at me, hear him laugh, feel his arms around me tight and I want him next to me now.
I can't do this anymore. I let him know that I liked him and I have waited 6 weeks now for a first date. I know he can't control his schedule and yet another weekend has passed us by and no Steve. My heart is crushed and I can't walk around with tears in my eyes and a frog in my throat anymore. I have been far too tolerant and understanding and now I feel like a fool... He's leaving tomorrow on leave for 2 weeks and Im so crushed, maybe he will come crashing through and everything will be great when he gets back but I have my doubts now.. Im not doing this anymore, I can't because my hopes are up so high and I have set myself up to get my heart ripped out. I know who Im talking to and it's real for me, and he doesn't and I won't do this to myself any longer. He's going to feel like a jerk when he see's how pretty I am and all this time we have wasted when we could have been in love and getting so down. Night and day I dream about this man and I want him so bad.
*I want this man for real. I want him forever, all over me and through me, in my heart, in my soul, in my dreams, in my bed. I just ache for his tender touch, his kiss, his arms around me and safe and warm. He's so wonderful and Im way in over my head. I have never seen someone who was more right for me and I have to play a better game. I have been too tolerant and understanding and I have to go about this differently now. I want him to want me and dream about me and ache for me and no one else. Being too avaliable and offering my heart too easily has not won his heart. He's not here and that's what I want more than anything in this world. Does he hug his pillow tight every night and imagine me there? Does he think about what we will be like, does he want me and need me and long for my touch the way I want him. He will! Once he sees me his heart will be on fire and when will that day finally happen? He has to go to a war and make it back home. Im scared for him and I worry for him and I already love him. I could never tell him that but I do. Because he's sweet and sensitive and into me and he's got this devilish grin that just sets my heart spinning. That's what excites me and scares me and then makes me so blue...
*Negative people and situations and sources of sadness have got to go
*I will not email him or call him unless he contacts me first. I won't do it!
*Im going to go out and be young and have a good summer even If I have to do it without him and I don't want to but I will.
*Im going to go to new places and make new friends and cherish the good ones I have
*Im going to get my VA Cert and shove it in that bitches face and pull 100% at work so I can get out
*Im going to learn the fit to strip routine and have that one ready under my belt Yeah!
*I promise to be myself in everyone's face and not back down or hold back
*Im not going along with the bullshit anymore to keep the peace. This is the only life I get and not everyone deserves to be in it.
*I believe that I deserve a wonderful man, I deserve to be loved and cherished.
*I won't tolerate disrespect from anyone. I deserve to be happy and valued.
*MY JOB HAS GOT TO GO. Mgmt is hopeless for positive change and I deserve better. I just say to myself .. the first lateral opportunity I get to leave your sorry ass you can bet your last breath that I will... and let it roll off. That is a paycheck and not worth upsetting myself. They aren't important enough to hold me down.
*Im not going anywhere or doing anything that I don't wholeheartedly want to do. I understand that my happiness comes first, I can't give to other people what I don't have in me first.
*Im going to be real and true to myself from this moment on and focus on what I like and skills that I want to develop: French, travel, savings, no debt, good communication skills, skills in dealing with difficult people and situations, class and eloquence, being a lady, yet being wild and fun, being a great wife and lover, being a great mother, charm, faith, music, relaxation, fantasy, art, poetry, dance, exercist and total health, love and affection, and holding out for someone who loves and cherishes me completely and unabashedly.
*I will exhibit pride and confidence in myself, being ON and in control of my emotions. People will see what I want them to see and I respect myself and believe in myself so much that I don't have to react to negative situations. I believe that I am too worthy to be rendered spun by insignificant things in my life. I have lost my composure 3 times now once with each of the leeches of my life. Never again will I hand over my power. NEVER! It's not whether or not things will go wrong, it's how they are handled that conveys character...
*I will always think well of myself and never feel inferior or intimidated by anyone. I have a results based attititude, I have a results based drive, and I never waste my time. I AM ENOUGH. Even if I fall I am full of courage, strength and grace and I will get right back up and carry on... that's my best quality...Resilience.
*I promise myself to live an elevated life and give and expect only the best.
*I don't offer my love or loyalty to anyone who doesn't deserve it. I don't love people who don't love me.
Don't let Them ...
Define your being
Dictate your pace
Decide your fate
Defer your dreams
Derail your goals
Dare to succeed
posted by Nikki at 2:35 PM
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