This is what has got me spinning...

He is due back here any second now. His little smiley isn't on yet but it will be at midnight Im sure. How can he hold back like this knowing that there is someone who wants him bad. Is it a Libra thing, I know his schedule has been crazy, but Im talking about curiosity and SEX. Yeah that's right. Im baffled and Im wondering what is going on. Is everything ok, of course it is. I can see how big his hands are in those pictures and I am a very much alive and healthy young woman. Here is this huge gorgeous handsome take my breath away and give me goosebumps can't sleep at night hold on to my pillow for dear life in my bed. I want him. I want his hands and his kisses all over me and I want to be close and lost and on fire and together. I don't know if this is wrong or right, I don't know if I am a million miles ahead of him, I don't know if he layed there in his own bed in Rhode Island and wished I was there and dreamed about me too. I dreamed he kissed me that night that we accidently got on the phone together. I am just beside myself with just longing for him I want him. I want his chest touching my chest and his mouth kissing mine, I want his hand holding my hand, I want his arms holding me close and sweeping my hair back to kiss me again and again, I want to be nervous and scared and look in his eyes and know that I can trust him and then love him. He is so perfect for me my bones are on fire for him and my skin is tingly all over just aching for him to hold me close. What am I going to do when it's time to undress me and undress him, when our hearts are pounding so strong and lips quiver and little tears come to my eyes because I found the man of my dreams and I did. And he takes me in his arms and the whole world stops spinning and there is no one else in this whole world but me and him. And to be close to him as close as we can be and lost and warm and satisfied and sleepy. Im living for the night we steal away and make this real. Please God don't let anything go wrong. He is so right for me and I think Im right for him, so far everything seems perfect for us. Please make this happen and let me love the one who loves me. That's my wish and my prayer. Now and always. Nikki and Steve I love the way that sounds.

So what Im gonna do is walk walk walk so my legs are strong strong strong and firm and sexy. Do my toning and low carb which works 6 days a week and on Sunday just like today - it's french for me and lots of chocolate and wine and bread and everything I love to cook in little managable gatherings. Im going to Paris and I only want to go with him. I saw barefoot in Paris and also got the cookbook from the Library I am so alive when it comes to Parisiene and French living and dining. I want that so bad and Im going there no matter what!