THE WALK OF A GODDESS

"Everything beautiful is expected of me. But I am no longer the woman who was noble. I feel I could kill to defend my only happiness on earth. I have to have a love for myself alone. Never before have I stood at such a crossroad, between my primitive emotions and my noble impulses" -Anais Nin

"There is no doubt that whatever I desire strongly I must do or it kills me" -Anais Nin

I just soak this in like a sponge. A change has come over me and I love it. I walk much slower now and my senses are alive and singing. I close my eyes and my skin is sparkling with life, I can feel him touching me and kissing me and holding me so close. My whole life has been about being pleasing and being a good girl everybody's darling and look at what I have. I have built such a mote of sugar around me I feel sticky and want to cry for fear of not being everyone's darling. I don't care about that anymore. I could leave it all behind to cleave on to something real. It's not that I want a man around me, I want my Steve.

Yes sweet tender passion making love to him forever but I also want to be closer and secure and open to be me. I want a love that is so true that Im not ashamed or afraid to be myself and invite the man I love into my world. I need him to keep up with me. What I love is soft reassuring tender sweet beginnings and I see myself losing all senses and going wild and out of control and I want him to bring that out in me. I want to share that with him because all I have ever done is hold back. Hold back from love, hold back from life, hold back from fear. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want to love this man so completely that there is no one else in this world but him. I want to give that gift to him. I can't help the way I feel because I love everything about him. Baby heaven is banging down your door. I have never been this way before and he did this. It's about him and it's for him and I am living for the day Im safe and I know in my heart that he loves me and only me.

I like the way my skin feels
I like the way my hips feel when I lay in my bed dreaming about him
I love the way my body aches to join his
I am so in love with this man how will we ever hold back
I love my hair the way it falls on my shoulders and down my back
I love my eyes and mouth and imagine wonderful nights
I can look people in the eye what have I ever done that is so bad?
My bad girl days are here and I can't wait to smother him with naughtiness
I think about sex all day from morning to night and I just want to be close to him
I want to be his every fantasy and leave him faint and breathless
When I am the only thing that will satisfy him, my touch is all he craves
I love you and I want you and I want to make you happy and be the love of your life
I want that I need that this is my only wish to be his forever and ever. I love you Steve
I can't tell you how you have kissed my whole life and made it fun and anxious
and exciting for me. He is the star in my sky baby. I could never love someone and
admire and respect and look up to another man more than my Steve. He is the real
thing and he's mine.