I need a man in my life

It's cold outside and Im alone with no friends at all. I don't have one friend to confide in. I have Steve. I don't understand him at all, perfectly content being alone and why did this happen. I thought he was ignoring me last week when he had no internet access for 5 days and then I was wrong and relieved. I sent him the sweetest note this morning about a dream I had and I felt good to tell him how I think about him. I love this man and he won't give an inch. I want him in my life and I want him to love me and it's not going to happen. I don't want to let go but I have to because it's driving me crazy. I feel so much and there is no way to get it out at all and it takes up every thought of every day because I want him close to me and he won't. Im so frustrated and I know I melted his heart and im proud of myself for going outside my safety zone and telling him that I have needs. I need him and I can't take more of this. I want someone to love and my vision doesnt go past him. I don't want anyone else. My baby got in a wreck tonight and here I am alone. He should be here with me and that is so rediculous of a thought. I said all sorts of things like if someone else was around I wouldn't care but it's not true. Im obsessed and I can't help it because hes hanging everything i want in my face and then taking it away. I don't know if hes trying not to hurt me or just doesn't like dating. He would rather have meaningless sex with strangers. I have no clue. All I know is im really hurting and I don't know what to do now.