No More Drama

I think the thing that bothers me the most is how this yoyo's back and forth and I just flat out don't know where I stand. It has really shaken my confidence in myself just being honest and telling him 65% of my feelings. Nothing big or stupid but it seems like when I act like a shit he is very attentive and when Im nice and sweet he doesn't respond to that. Not the way I want him to. I don't need this in my life. I need a man who will stand by me and love my kids and be a part of this. I don't like the high school games because im 36 and I have already been down the bad sad rotten road. Im ready to live on the top of the mountain now and forever. I think im a great catch, all my boyfriends were really handsome, i have a great career and I make more money than anyone I graduated with, i have the whole package and if he would rather kiss this away being drunk every night than invite something good into his world than what is there to do but walk off. If someone was that blind then what good is that to me. I feel defensive like what is so wrong with me that he would rather get drunk then just be with his girl. I don't need this shit and my kids don't need to see me off my rocker because someone wont do what I need them to do. I just want the man to give a care and be my guy. Im tired of this crap and I truly don't deserve to be treated like im less than his dream come true. I put up a good fight and I gave him everything I have and if that isn't enough then fuck it. Someone else certainly will.