Enough..

I can't do this anymore and Im doing it to myself. He's not communicated with me at all since he's been home except whatsup how are you which means he was getting completely anialhated this weekend and no room for me. He has no intention of meeting me until the very last second and part of me does understand and the other part is furious. He should have stopped me early on when he knew I had feelings for him but he let me go on and on - I didn't feel strung along until now because he knew exactly how I felt about him. Now Im angry and I just don't want to communicate at all anymore. He should have told me that he's not looking for anything serious months ago and just been honest because I was. Who's to say he hasn't been all over some skanky females and he could have spent the night with someone last night for all I know. If I ever found out that was true I would be so sick inside I would never talk to him again. That would destroy any feelings I had. I don't feel the same now, I can't explain it but I don't. It seems like anything is more important than me and that's just how I felt when I was married. Im so turned off now this is just done. It made me feel rejected constantly and I constantly questioned what is wrong with me. I don't deserve that and all this waiting was so unfair to me. I feel like Steve is not what Im looking for because I can read between all of this to see that he drinks way too much and he conceals his feelings and can be very insensitive. He didn't miss me or think about me in August. He was relieved as I was to get away. I was happy when he was gone and that bothers me the most.