What do I do now?

So Denise is telling her friend Chris all about me and he wants to meet me and go out and have margaritas all together. What do I do? I have to talk to Steve, get a feeling of where he is coming from. Is he receptive to me, is he just leery knowing he will be gone for so long. I would wait for him forever if he asked me to. I would because he is an angel from heaven. How can I put my whole life on hold for a year and a half and miss out on maybe my happiness and what if he came back here after this war and didn't love me and I ended up with nothing and my youth was gone as well as my chance to have a baby. Because by the time I started something new all over with a new person I would be too old to safely have a child. I want Steve, I want him more than anything and I need to know what he is thinking. We need to meet so I know what to do. I don't have to feel trapped like I do. I could throw up my hands and forget about him and move on to someone new now. But what if I threw away the love of my life. He could be that to me. How I want to kiss him and make love to him and be the woman that he is closest to. I want him to dream about me and miss me and take comfort when things are hard knowing how much I care. I want this so much and I don't know where I fit in to his life at all. He says sweet things and he seems sincere and is slowly letting me in and I don't want to do some wrecking ball and threaten him love me or Im gone. I don't know what to do. I have never cheated on anyone. I couldn't do anything with anyone until he was totally out of the picture because to me that is a lack of character and low rent. Im not that way at all and I don't know where I fit in here or even if I do. How can I spend time with someone else and love on some other guy when the only place in this world I want to be is with Steve and he won't let me in and it's not that he is rejecting me because he's never met me in person just seen 20 pictures... And I look good too. I am gorgeous and there is no way he could resist me. I can't give up yet. My heart says no one else is ever going to do, no one at all. Do I tell him how I feel, do I reassure him as best as I can to give me a chance and from what he says of course he wants to meet me. And when we do get together I am going to put a smack down on that man so good he won't even know what day it is. I have to there will be no holding back and I don't care what I said before. It might as well be the last day the world is spinning because he's not getting away from me. I will charm him and leave him so breathless and dizzy he won't be able to see past his Nicole and that will be it. What else can I do, I have to show him how I feel and no regrets. No matter what happens he has to know how much he means to me. I need to show him and get these feelings unbottled and out of me. Here I have all these friends trying to fix me up with people and Im feeling embarassed and making excuses because I seem to love someone who won't give me a chance to prove that Im trustworthy and for real. All I can do is pray on this. And it didn't help me to find out that the first engineers had a 4 day training weekend either. It hurts me to know that he has time to see me and makes no effort at all. Im worried that he drinks to escape, I know he does. He doesn't miss me at night and ache for me like this because he is either lit up or exhausted.