IT'S A NEW MOTHERFUCKIN DAY!
I need to watch the Queens of Comedy BADLY. That's the plan for later tonight. It's 5:30 on day 1 of the 48 hour liquid cleanse from hell. It tastes so nasty but it will undo the partying from this weekend...
God I want I want I want --I want to look really cute and confident and self assured when we hook up and I don't know when that will be because I have games tonight and then the demolition derby on Sat night. Im going to that so... it may be next weekend or maybe never who knows. If I knew where he was and I had a green light from him I would hunt him down tonight just to get it over with. I feel like being bad and it's gonna be a long night. Im here all alone left to my own vices and who knows what that might mean. I want him here with me more than anything and the longer we drag this out or he does.. it is going to be impossible to behave and that makes me angry. Yes I want him so bad but not like that. That is just begging for a brokenheart and how often will I ever see him. I want us to be together and yeah Im freaking all out wondering if he will love me or not.
Hell yes he will. What is there not to love. Yeah Im not skin and bones anymore like I used to be but Im pretty enough to pull it off. I have goals and If Im not the yummiest thing he has ever seen I sure will be. All my boyfriends were fine but I can't broadcast that. I feel like I have waited forever for someone who I could love from my heart and he's here I think and I don't want to wait anymore. And something happens to your whole auora when you are in love. It's an intoxication that is so obvious, nerves on fire, heart is pounding, your whole life is a marshmallow. When I know that he is into me and I know Im safe and wanted I will be beaming so bright. It's wonderful to be in love and I want to be in love with this soldier. I adore him and I want to know that he feels the same way. I wonder what goes on when he lays down to sleep at night is he going crazy like I am does he imagine what it will be like. I can't sleep I can't think I can't hardly breathe without thinking of him. And I just ache to have him near me. Come to me and kiss me and wrap yourself all around me and love me. I don't want to go through my life without someone I really care for. I want to make a difference to someone. I want to be essential to someone. I want to know that his life was kissed and made better by me and no one else could do for him. Maybe Im wrong and I won't feel this way when we are together but that seems as outlandish and crazy as I could imagine. I want him and how do I make him need me and really love me...
God I want I want I want --I want to look really cute and confident and self assured when we hook up and I don't know when that will be because I have games tonight and then the demolition derby on Sat night. Im going to that so... it may be next weekend or maybe never who knows. If I knew where he was and I had a green light from him I would hunt him down tonight just to get it over with. I feel like being bad and it's gonna be a long night. Im here all alone left to my own vices and who knows what that might mean. I want him here with me more than anything and the longer we drag this out or he does.. it is going to be impossible to behave and that makes me angry. Yes I want him so bad but not like that. That is just begging for a brokenheart and how often will I ever see him. I want us to be together and yeah Im freaking all out wondering if he will love me or not.
Hell yes he will. What is there not to love. Yeah Im not skin and bones anymore like I used to be but Im pretty enough to pull it off. I have goals and If Im not the yummiest thing he has ever seen I sure will be. All my boyfriends were fine but I can't broadcast that. I feel like I have waited forever for someone who I could love from my heart and he's here I think and I don't want to wait anymore. And something happens to your whole auora when you are in love. It's an intoxication that is so obvious, nerves on fire, heart is pounding, your whole life is a marshmallow. When I know that he is into me and I know Im safe and wanted I will be beaming so bright. It's wonderful to be in love and I want to be in love with this soldier. I adore him and I want to know that he feels the same way. I wonder what goes on when he lays down to sleep at night is he going crazy like I am does he imagine what it will be like. I can't sleep I can't think I can't hardly breathe without thinking of him. And I just ache to have him near me. Come to me and kiss me and wrap yourself all around me and love me. I don't want to go through my life without someone I really care for. I want to make a difference to someone. I want to be essential to someone. I want to know that his life was kissed and made better by me and no one else could do for him. Maybe Im wrong and I won't feel this way when we are together but that seems as outlandish and crazy as I could imagine. I want him and how do I make him need me and really love me...
posted by Nikki at 3:36 PM
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