I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE IN LOVE

He's going to let this whole weekend pass without any contact with me. I can't accept that. That's mean and selfish and there are fireworks tonight and tomorrow night. I think I deserve some time after I have waited so long and tried to not give him a hard time. I feel almost insulted and it makes me think that he might be an alcoholic. How can you be a man with a sex drive and normal healthy emotions and rather be with your friends drinking on your free time instead of a woman who cares about you. That doesn't make sense and shows every indication of having a drinking problem. I have to accept the fact that Im not a priority to Steve, if I was he would move mountains to get to me. Two and a half months have passed since we first decided to meet and that is just not acceptable. That is insulting. My heart is broken I can't believe we won't be together on the 4th of July, that is all I have dreamed about. This is the last disappointment I can't do this anymore. I don't want to walk away from this, I truly don't and I feel so much inside it hurts to give up but I can't continue to wait around for someone who won't give me the time of day. He didn't save one day of his leave time for me and here we go back to nothing again. I am hurt and this isn't fair and he is everything I ever wanted and now I think that maybe he's not everything I have built him up to be. I thought he would say what if we met this afternoon and go from there.. After I told him yesterday that I didn't have my boys on the 4th.. Don't I deserve that-yes. But he's going to ignore me the whole time and then ask me how my holiday was next week when it's all over. What do I say. I could just break down and cry all day- he won't make time for me and that hurts. And even if we went out and had the greatest time and fell madly for each other the first minute when would I ever see him? Im feeling ignored every minute that passes and how would I know if they have pt in the morning, if he works all day or has army stuff to do and then has 2 hours to relax at night. I have no idea what he does except that I feel deliberately ignored and I just can't take that from someone that I have feelings for. I don't know what else to do except give up on me and Steve being together. I need more than just 2 sentences a week. I can't do this anymore.