My Prayer

This is a prayer I wrote last night at midnight. I couldn't sleep, just like everynight and I realized that I must be some kind of co dependent. I am not getting what I need from this relationship and so why am I hanging on?? I can think of a million reasons, and they all tie into the fact that my biggest (childhood) fear is of being abandoned... being alone, growing old and dying all by myself, never having my true love, living a wasted life and dying a casualty of love.


Dear God,
I need you in my life. I really truly do. Im failing my kids and myself. Im depressed and sad all the time over Steve. I love him with all my heart but he is driving me crazy. I have destroyed my body comforting my hurt with food and my spirit is low because I need love in my life and he I fear has a serious problem with alcohol. I give over this situation to you because I can't handle it. It is destroying me. Help me to see the gifts in my life today and not wait for someday when its all perfect. Someday is some elusive fantasy and help me see the gifts in my journey and not just the destination. I want my true love, I want to love someone because I believe you heal the world two by two. And when two people love each other that is a beauty and goodness that can't be measured. I give this worry to you. If he's the man for me please turn his heart towards me and bring him to me. I give this situation totally up to you. And watch over him too because he is good and he loves you. Please watch over my boys and my sweet parents and family. Open our hearts, make us stronger, to focus on the good and make uis flourish in strong healthy constructive lives with you as the center always. From my heart Nicole amen.