Why does love hurt so bad?

Well I did it. I sent him a note saying that i'd had enough and couldn't deal with the internet friends and all that bs. Didn't understand why I hadn't seen him, maybe i misunderstood... I love this man. He just told me the truth finally straight away and I knew it all along. Hes going away for a year, next month, and then if he makes it back hes getting out and going home. He didn't want to start something and hurt me, hurt him. Of course he cares. Im scared of the way I feel and all i want in this whole world is just to be near him. Hes not mean, not inconsiderate, not a drunk fool, not a hoe man, not all of those things that I thought. Hes just a guy going off to a war and doesn't want either one of us to end up devistated so why even start it. He said point blank he doesn't want anything going with anybody. Its not me and it never was me. I felt so relieved just to say it out loud. We both knew what was up, what was wrong. I took it like rejection and nothing else. So now we can just be friends and see what happens. And when I make him his going away dinner im going to serve him up a plate of sex so hot he won't even know what hit him. Send him off across the ocean with a smile and know he is loved. I have to play this down and quit being so focused on him. I have to focus on me now and be strong and happy and let this go because there may not be any future for us together. But when he sees me there is no way in hell he could keep his hands off of me. I remember everything and now I feel like me again and this distance was not him rejecting me at all. It was just being smart. I love this man and my sweetest wish is that he will marry me someday. I love him that way.

And damn Tom Brady is fine. I never even knew who in the hell he was or the Patriots. He's brought so much into my life, good things, funny things and most of all he taught me the meaning of .... lust! Im 36 and i need my man.