He didn't tell me goodbye, for the 2nd time..

The last time he went home he didn't tell me bye bye either. I called him the night he was leaving for La and he was so happy and sweet and excited to talk to me. He wouldn't have called me then either. I do feel sad but because of that I don't. The last thing he said to me was 16 smiley face hugs on yahoo messenger on wed night. Doesn't he know how much I love him? I feel sorry for him, the man has to make it back from a war. He wants me in his life but not close enough to where I will feel misled. He's leaving in his own words and hates it here and wants to go home. Im blue because I just don't see us married or together forever in the future. It's just too much of a gamble to wish for that and I absolutely love him. He's my perfect match, I couldn't be more attracted to him and his shy sweet way just melts me. Some drinks later he is a wild man and I loved every moment. Its scary, its a sign, its a warning. Im a ding dong. Hes tall and blue eyes and huge shoulders and catholic and good and strong and integrity and sensitive and funny goofy very intelligent, hes everything. If I could ask God to make me someone to love it would be Steve. He made the sun come out again in my life. No matter how this story will conclude, he's the one. I love him and I always will forever. He said to my face maybe i'll take you back east with me.. I know it was just a drunk guy talking, he was talking from his heart though. I know that im special to him but if we ever would have a life together its going to be years from now and that just freaks me out. Who knows but it's 6:45 in RI now. He left here at 12:30 so his plane must have taken off at 1:30 minus and hour atlantic time so he's getting there just about now. Flew over NYC and back home right now and happy. How it feels to be all alone in the world and then at home safe and loved. I know how good that feels and I hope he has a wonderful time.